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Building
Friendships for Jesus
Romans
1:8-15
October
29, 2000
May be you heard about the 3 men who were sentenced to die by a firing squad. As they were being led out to be shot one by one. The first man noticed that if he could get behind the wall he might be able to escape his present predicament. All he would need to do is to some distract the guards for a few seconds. So he quickly devised a plan. He was positioned in front of the riflemen the lieutenant said ready aim, and the convict yelled tornado! The solders turned around to find the tornado and the man escaped behind the wall. The next man to be shot saw what the first man had done. So when the lieutenant said ready aim, he yelled flood! The soldier turned to see the flood and the man escaped. We the third man had see how both men had fooled their captors he figured it couldn’t hurt to try. So the lieutenant said ready, aim… and the man yelled fire!
I think that we too are often guilty of using words with out thinking of how their meaning applies to us. Words like evangelism, witnessing, sharing our faith. We talk about these things yet we don’t apply the importance of the great commission to our selves. We tend to think that this part of Christianity relates to preachers, missionaries, or the evangelists that hold big crusades. These are not the intent of Jesus command. For basic meaning of evangelism is simply bringing people to Jesus. There is no better place to begin than with our friends.
Throughout the New Testament we find the most frequent method of evangelism is through relationships that were built one on one. Even many of the preaching events are based upon previously developed relationships. The day of Pentecost is one example. Yes 3000 were saved as the people heard peter preach. But how did the crowed come together? It was due to the 120 that left the upper room and fanned out into the city and spoke to people in their language (their “heart” language). After the commonality of language built relationships they came together and Peter preached.
Surveys of Christians has reveled how people are reached by the Church: 7% came because of the pastor, 4% because of special needs, 2% by visitation, 6% because of Sunday School, .01 because of an evangelistic crusade, and 80% by a friend or family member.
Did you ever notice that even the great commission is not only geographical, but also relational? When Jesus says that we are to go to Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the uttermost parts of the world, that to the disciples these place names spoke of relationships. Jerusalem (home), Judea (neighbors), Samaria (enemies), World (strangers).
God has placed people in all of those areas of your life that you might build friendships for Jesus. I know that I say this to you often. I often remind you that you have unique relationships. It is because as I look out over you I know in my heart that this building could be filled 10 times a week with people seeking Jesus if we would simply be serious about praying and ministering to our friends. Or building relationships with the people that God brings into our lives.
Last Sunday night we looked at this very same passage as we considered the roadblocks that God has put up on the road to hell. Today we look at it again because one of the most effective roadblocks on the road to hell should be a Christian friend.
In the letter to the
believers in Rome Paul is seeking to build a relationship with people he has not
yet met. He is desire to build friendships that would open the door for
ministry. From his example I believe we can learn some of the important
ingredients to building friendships for Jesus.
Be positive (verse 8)
There is nothing like a long face to shorten one's list of friends.
·
Be a careful listener- Or
maybe it would be better said a selective listener. There was a lot being said
about the believers that were in Rome. Not all of it was good. The rumor mill
had been active about these Christians in the capital city. But Paul only
listened to the good stuff. He practiced selective listening. We must be careful
what we ingest. Many people like to speak evil of others. If we accept the
stories we can easily prejudice ourselves from people that God would have us to
build a relationship.
An
egotist talks to you about himself, a gossip talks to you about others, and a
brilliant conversationalist talks to you about you.
Most
of us have had the experience of predetermined that so and so was a person to
avoid because of stories we had heard about them. And then because of events
beyond your control you found yourself getting to know them and discovering that
were not at all like you heard them characterized. Take care to be a selective
listener.
To
find a friend one must close one eye; to keep him, two.
Norman Douglas (1868-1952)
A
stranger is a friend whose acquaintance you haven't made yet.
·
Learn to complement- Paul
says I have heard great things about you and your faithfulness. He complements
them and indicates his concern for them buy telling them that he is praying for
them. These are words of endearment.
One
of the greatest complements you can give someone you don’t know, is to listen
to them with interest. You can make more friends by being interested in them
than trying to have them be interested in you. The Bible says to have a friend
one must be friendly. I know that that sounds awful basic, but how many people
were you unfriendly to this past week. Awe she is just a clerk, or he was just
the guy in front of me in line, you say… but maybe there was a relationship
that God had for you. See the positive in others and tell them what you see.
·
Understand that you have
something to give- The best vitamin
for developing friends is B1. You have something to give. Not to force on others
but to offer others in the love of Christ.
Be intentional (verses
9-10) Most friendships don’t just
come out of thin air. But reflect the commitment of at least one party,
especially redemptive relationships. It will require intention on our part.
Paul’s intention we fortified by regular prayer. It was not casual, or
circumstantial, it was intentional.
·
Must be built on honest concern
– at long last I may come to you. Paul’s concern for the Roman Christians
began long before he wrote the letter. Even the letter will precede his visit,
indicating his intention to be of help to them. He was concerned for them.
Our
friendships need to be built on honest concern for the other person. Here is the
stopper of most. Our tendency is to
view relationship in our life with a view toward what they can do for me. This
attitude runs at odds with the teaching of scripture. “Consider others better
than yourself.”
·
True friendship takes work- Like
any other thing in your life that is worthwhile friendships take work.
Friendship
is a plant, which must often be watered.
German Proverb
Meaningful relationships
for Christ are divine opportunities. You will need God’s wisdom in your
conversation therefore you need to invite God into the relationship from the
beginning.
Seek common ground
(verses 11-12) – in verse 12 he
speaks of a mutually encouragement by each others faith. Notice the apostle
doesn’t come across with a holier than thou attitude. He recognized that he
would be blessed by this friendship also.
·
Find the links – The
things that you have in common with this person, people you know, places you
have been, things that you have done. There are many things that bring
connectedness. Even a willingness to pray with a person gives you a link to
them. Emphasize these.
·
Avoid the kinks- The
things that keep us from developing relationships are many. The belief that we
don’t have time. Fear of rejection, the risk of being hurt. These are true
reasons and costs to be counted, but if your motives are for personal
recognition, the cost is great, but if your motives are Godly then the const is
small in comparison to the cost that Jesus paid on the cross.
Sense the Urgency
(verses 13-16)
·
It is time to be redemptive –
Paul was eager, he wanted to get to Rome he wanted to share with them. Urgency
should come to our minds this morning because the time is short. The activities
in the Middle East point to the second coming of Jesus. The value of the move
Left Behind is that it reminds us the urgency under which we should be working.
An urgency that should lead us to building new relationships for Jesus. And we
should be reminded…
·
God wants to be part of all your
friendships – many of us have
relationships even friendships that we have not invited god into. That should
not be. We often hold things back from God. Things that we want to control. If
this is true in terms of your friendships then you are ashamed of the gospel of
Christ (Verse 16). Building friendships for Jesus must first of all mean that we
trust Jesus. Won’t you offer the relationships that God has given you on the
alter of sacrifice this morning.